The Return: In which I skirt the issue of my negligence of duty and post, of all things, a poem

I haven't been here in a long time, nor have I worked on the idea I promised myself I'd continue to work on.  I've finally reached a balance in school, where my interest in the course is matched by the level of difficulty I'd expect from a college class.  That is to say, I'm finally learning stuff, and it means actually doing work and keeping on top of things.  Unfortunately, that's rather harmed this story idea, as I now find myself very detached from it.

I've contemplated putting it aside and moving to a new project (perhaps going back to an old project and reading it with new eyes; a novel, yet highly unlikely prospect), or just gritting my teeth and pushing forward.  However, in thinking of this, I did what I do best, and got completely sidetracked by other thoughts.  I got to thinking about the parts of my past that I am grateful for (though few, they shine), and I got to realizing that I hadn't just left the bad stuff behind, but some really good things too.  People, for the most part.

I haven't written a poem in, oh, five years.  There's a long story behind it, which I may put on here one day (short story: was expelled, thought insane).  I've always veered away from poetry ever since.  The following is, I suppose, a poem, in that it isn't presented in an essay format.  I hate writing poems; they feel like I'm just slopping crap together and passing it off as actual work.  Also, I'm horrible at making rhymes that work to get my message across.  So, don't look for rhymes or any actual poetic aspects; shit, I was actually pretty proud that I followed a line structure.

It doesn't have a proper name, but if you want, you could call it My Friend:

We walked for awhile, talking little, saying much

There were laughs, and sighs, and quiet nods

The scenery mattered little, for it always changed

A park, a forest, a lonely road, a familiar room

It was not where, but what; not when, but why

We were two interpretations of the same idea

Each independent, each unique, yet akin

Master plans and sinister plots were hatched

The problems of the world solved with ease

We were as foolish as we were intelligent

He was an attentive ear; a wise mind

A moral guide; a creative aide

Time robs us of much, slowly stealing away

I didn’t notice what I’d lost until I looked

Not gone, but veiled in nostalgia

I still walk, often alone, thinking and imagining

It’s never the same

Explanations, leading into ranting about agribusiness

So I've been neglecting this blog a little more than usual (if a little over two months worth of sporadic writing can be considered a standard), but I have good reason.  First and foremost, the end of spring quarter is here, and since I actually care about these classes (mostly), I've put much more effort into them then is usual (see: any effort at all).  I've also had two presentations for two separate classes, just received a take-home final in Logic (written in a way that, had I been given this at the start of the quarter, I would have sprinted to administration begging to withdraw), and have two other, fun-filled finals to look forward to.

But, more importantly, I have just completed 9 pages of rough draft quality story.  That's right, the first run-through has officially begun.  And, to my surprise, I don't despise it; quite the contrary, I actually feel like it's a legitimate start to a real book.  The only problem is it's only 9 pages so far, and I don't seem to be going at a very steady or swift pace.  However, it's 9 pages more then I had, and (dare I say it) the first work I've made that shows I may make it as a writer.  Halle-fucking-lujah.

On an unrelated note, in regards to my presentation in Environmental Science, I'd like to take a brief moment to soapbox.  Boiled down, it works out like this: The body requires nutrients to survive.  Lack of nutrients leads to a deficiency, and the brain will crave the nutrients missing.  Cravings lead to overeating, which is a major factor in obesity.  With me so far?  Now, studies show that food grown today has lost anywhere from 30% to as much as 80% of the nutrients it once held, with declines occurring in as short as twenty years.  However, the caloric count remains unchanged.

Now let's put this all together.  Lack of nutrients=cravings=overeating=obesity.  With the standards we use to grow food, our fruits, vegetables and grains are lacking in nutrients.  Therefore, by a logical jump, it's possible that the methods used by corporate farming could be actively harming people.  And that leads to the problem: So far as I can tell, I am the only person on the face of the globe working on this right now.

That's right.  In the entire world, there is not a single available source detailing this.  What's more, the research on the lowered nutritional value of food is hard to come by in its own right.  People think genetic tampering, or pesticide use, and they think either horrible diseases or over-hyped rubbish.  But, in reality, it's affecting you, me, and everyone, and they don't even have to tell us.

I don't know if that pisses you off, but I sure was, and I still am.  What do I plan to do about it?  At the moment, I don't know.  I have considered digging further, pulling facts, and actually trying to make a case of this, but at the very least, I wanted to put this out there, for anyone and everyone to know: Agribusiness, or corporate farming, or whatever you want to call it, is not working for your best interests, but theirs.  Shit, Archer Daniels Midland is has subsidies on its ethanol production; that means you and I pay for their profits with our taxes.  And they posted a $500+ million dollar profit last year.  And, for every buck they made, we paid $30.

I won't demand you to do anything, especially since I'm lucky enough if you read this far anyways.  But I plan to tell everyone I know what I found, and even if you don't want to look into it yourself, let the people around you know what's going on.  These companies, ADM in particular, pay tons to lobbyists and politicians to ensure that this information never reaches your ears.  Tell a friend, or a family member; hell, tell the person on the bus if you're feeling social.  Just spread the word.  Maybe someone with a little more knowledge and a lot more credibility than me will hear about this, and start serious work on this.  Like I said, there's less than half a dozen solid reports out there, and only a single recent one.

Anyways, I'm done ranting and raving, so until next time, go do something else.

Big Ideas, Little Trimming

Ok, yes, I did miss a day immediately following my declaration to post daily.  But, in my defense, this post was in development since yesterday; it's a very weighty post, with a big impact on the plot.  So, since I like to post at least a semi-polished version of the idea, I waited until today to actually put it up.  Hopefully that excuses my missed day; if not, I don't especially care.  Oh well, moving on.


I had an interesting idea the night before last.  I was going to explain it outright, but then I worried whether I'd explained this aspect yet, so I wrote a couple paragraphs giving some background to this idea.  Then I actually looked at the blog, and saw that I'd given said explanation already.  I say all that as a way of showing what a tangled mess this blog is becoming, and to act as a reminder to put up a definitive status update on the idea soon.

Anyways, back to the idea.  This one piggybacks on the notion that the Collective is gathering artifacts and using their power to banish the gods from the planet.  This action was originally conceived as happening during the start of the stagnation of the free will period, thus well after the Great Decline and the collapse of the Church of Destiny.  However, as an alternative, perhaps the Collective was started by a group of individuals who somehow managed to free themselves from the destiny prison the gods had implemented.  If this were so, it stands to reason that their actions would be their own, and unnoticed by the gods or the Children of Fate.  Said freedom may even stem from the artifacts themselves.

What would happen is this group would begin searching for more artifacts, while recruiting more members to their cause.  Thus, being known as the Collective; on the surface, it seems to be simply a name for a group of people, but it also accurately describes their mission.  Eventually, the Collective would amass enough artifacts to counteract the will of the gods.  However, before this event happens, it is possible, through a level of destiny beyond even the gods' influence, that one of the Children of Fate would disobey the gods.  This would anger the gods, but also awaken them to the truth; they would become aware of their selfish actions, and would wish to mend their mistakes.

However, it would be too late for the gods, and they would become aware of the Collective's plan only when it was well beyond stopping.  The gods would also see a flaw in the plan of the Collective; a unexpected consequence of their action that would leave mankind exposed to a greater threat.  When the Collective banished the gods, the artifacts were changed; by using the power within them, the artifacts were connected with the gods once more, and were altered to reflect the desires of the gods.  Thus, the artifacts each became charged with the power of foresight.

If the new power within these artifacts were discovered, the owner would gain the power of foresight.  Should an individual claim the artifacts, they would easily be able to win over the Church of Destiny.  With the Children of Fate in one hand, and complete knowledge of the future in the other, any man who claimed the artifacts would become an unstoppable tyrant; with a period of destiny already strongly established, it would be nigh impossible to stop any such dictator, and, should he utilize the artifacts wisely, he could very well live forever.

It was for this reason that the gods demanded the Children of Fate kill themselves; not out of hatred or spite, but out of love and mercy.  The gods had blessed the Children of Fate, and did not wish to see them corrupted and turned into puppets of a tyrant.  It was with great sadness that they ordered their followers to die; all save one.  For the man who had defied the gods had proven himself to be a man of strong conviction, and the gods hoped that the blessing would be passed down through his descendants, and live on for future generations.  Now, in the modern times, there is a man, posing as an average fortune teller, who can truly see into the future.

And that's all I have to say about that topic for tonight, and possibly for a good while.  I won't lie, I haven't shown all my cards yet; there's certain things I've yet to reveal, and things can always change due to a spur of the moment idea.  I don't know why I feel like keeping secrets, since I'm not actually telling the story here, but I feel like I shouldn't just tell all right now, and I trust my instincts.

On an unrelated note, it looks like the Returners are gonna soon be leaving this story.  If you don't remember what I'm talking about, I don't blame you; they were one of the starting ideas, were discussed in an early post, and have yet to be mention/updated since.  They were a neat idea, and the Atoners are still a (somewhat) viable concept, but things are growing in depth and quality, and as these ideas flourish, they take up more room, room the Returners is taking up.  So, unless ideas strike me soon, everyone's favorite homicidal-salvation zealots will be moving out, and the Atoners may follow shortly after.

And, with that, I believe I shall call it a night.  I did try to make an opening for the story last night, but it seemed forced.  Though it feels a bit like procrastination, I can honestly say that I feel the idea is still in development, and thus writing proper will not commence yet.  I sincerely hope it's not just laziness, and I dread that it's lack of ability that's limiting the actual writing of this story.  However, the idea is still relatively new compared to some of the crap I've worked on in the past, so I can't help but feel like I'm doing pretty well so far.  Then again, what the hell do I know.

Kicking Things Into High Gear

I'm wondering whether I'm stretching things out too long between updates.  For the most part, I tend to work on the story on the day I update, and since it can be a week before I put something up, that means I've wasted 6 perfectly good days that could have been used to further the story.  At that rate, I won't have the thing finished until I'm 40, and that's entirely too long to work on one lousy idea.  Therefore, I'm shifting things into overdrive, which is now to be considered the new normal.  I'll be posting something every day, and shame be upon me if it doesn't further the idea.

Today was spent on hashing out the plot in a very, VERY rough fashion; so rough, I'll have to spend tomorrow working through that to get it up to par.  But, on the other hand, there's at least a rough story evolving, and if that's the case, then I may actually start writing before the new month.  What that means for this blog is that things will probably change around.  I may start using this as part update list for the story, and part random idea dump.  Just to clarify, I don't plan on posting any chapters, pages, or paragraphs on this blog until much later, if ever; if you want to read it, you have to wait until it's at least been rough drafted, proofread, and edited, and then only if you ask me.

But like I said, the plot is coming together; it seems a little cliche to me, but it also fits, so I don't feel too awkward about it.  Plus, there's lots of room for change, in case any part ends up sucking out loud.  I guess you could consider it a rough outline; I honestly don't know the terms for these things, nor do I especially care right now.  But anyways, I hope to have a nice, clean outline by the end of the week.

That's about it for today.  Unfortunately for anyone who's been reading this, things will probably be getting even more informal starting tomorrow; I hate to admit it, but it may actually turn into a real blog.  If you feel like jumping ship, I don't blame you; if I hadn't resolved to see this through, I'd have jumped a month ago.

Main Characters & Rambling

The more I think about this idea, the more things I discover.  It may sound weird, but it really is a discovery process, as though the completed book is resting in my head and I am slowly analyzing every aspect of it until I understand it.  There's already a pretty beefy theme of destiny vs. free will throughout, well, the entire damn idea, but the more I think about it, it really comes down to what a person does during those times that's important.  There's a positive and negative to both parts of the cycle; it's up to the individual to decide what part they want to play in the grand scheme of things.  If the world is a stage, as Shakespeare wrote (and Rush masterfully paraphrased), then I like to believe it is the most unique play of all; one where the actors are allowed to write their own script, and play whatever they wish to play.  But enough pseudo-intellectual trash, for there's much more important things to cover, such as the main character of the story.

That's right, there's a tentative main character for this trainwreck.  Now, as I may have mentioned in the past, I am absolutely terrible at two things: Names and protagonists.  Tell me to make a setting, and I'll throw out a thousand ideas a minute.  Ask me for a supporting cast, and I can have twenty behind-the-scenes players ready before you can inhale.  But if you really wanna stop me in my tracks, ask me to describe my main character, and I turn into a bumbling idiot.  Better yet, ask what the main character's name is; if I don't cry or run away, I probably didn't hear you properly.

However, that is not the case this time.  Beyond all hope, I have the rough concepts of a main character in mind.  I do mean rough; name, age, family history, background, and overall everything aside from what he's like is entirely up in the air still.  For a placeholder, his name is currently Isaac (There are many ways in which this is corny; if you share a birthday with me, you can guess why), he is between 18 and 20 (currently 19 as a placeholder), and is, if the name was no indication, a male.  Physical description is as follows: nil.  That will wait until much, much later; for now, I want to get who he is down first, as opposed to what he looks like.

He's a very naive individual; very trusting, and with a very large heart.  His desire to help others is his greatest asset and weakness.  And, since a character being described as naive and overly trusting necessitates a betrayal, there will be a point in the story where he finds that things have gone rather pear-shaped, and what was once black and white has gone many shades of gray.  This leads to the all-important jading of the character, and that's where things start to get really, really important in regards to my views on this character.

First and foremost: I am an optimist.  At least, most of the time; I am prone to pessimism from time to time, but I generally think good about people, life, and everything.  The main character, in a fashion, follows this; he is a very optimistic individual towards the start of the book, and the betrayal will be a heart-wrenching tragedy for him.  However, the important part for me is that, though he's hardened by the experience, he doesn't lose his optimism.  Sure, he'll be slower to trust people, and take great caution in choosing his actions from then on, but he'll still choose to do what he feels to be the right thing, no matter how strong the opposition.

I personally believe that a great many wrongs in the world are allowed to continue because people refuse to take a stand.  I don't blame them, and I can't pretend I'm not one of them; there are plenty of times when I could have helped someone and chose not to.  But the world isn't just a cold, heartless place; there really are people out there who do kind things for the sake of doing kind things.  And for all the corruption and waste that occurs across the globe, there's compassion and generosity as well.  It's something easily forgotten, and hard to believe sometimes, but it's there, if you look in the right places.

The main character is one of those people; he set out on a foolish journey to save the world, he got tricked, and still resolved to save the world.  And that's about it for this note; I didn't expect a serious tone, but hey, what can ya do?  I've come to learn that I really have no control over what I write; any attempts to edit or change what first pops out on the page often leads to disaster and swearing.

A rambling post, even by the standards of a rambling blog

I wish I could say that I've got something new and awesome to post, but I don't.  As I expected, my focus has almost been completely lost, and the ideas that were so prevalent and easy earlier are old and used.  The biggest problem at this point is the setting.  I can't really move forward on a plot unless I know what to include; do I need to account for cars, or guns, or lack of sanitation?  How would the story differ depending on the era?  On the one hand, doing a modern-ish setting makes problems for the fantastic aspects of the story, and causes the story to become too gimmicky in my eyes.  On the other hand, going the straight ye olde times route makes it seem like fantasy fan-wank.

The real problem is accuracy.  I'm no master of history, and I would feel like a tool if everything is mismatched and wrong, even from a purely sensible manner.  In a modern setting, such things wouldn't be as problematic, but that feels like a cheater's way out.

Now, artifacts.  Introduced them last post, and should probably explain them a little more here.  Ok, let's not lie, make them up as I type here.  Artifacts are physical manifestations of the power of the gods.  Think like a battery; the energy is stored within, and with a little work it can be utilized.  This shouldn't be easy, though; making an artifact, even at the peak of a destiny period, should require a great deal of power.  Artifacts are hazardous and difficult to create; a single mistake could spell disaster for the creator and all in a general vicinity.

Each artifact is created with a purpose in mind.  Much as a staff or wand would channel power for a mage, the artifact absorbs the power necessary for the action desired.  However, unlike the staff, the mage uses a burst of power to seal the power within the object, trapping it.  Then, the mage must carefully enchant the artifact so that energy may flow in through the barrier at will, but only out upon command.  Finally, the mage must cast a spell of regeneration upon the artifact.  These steps are exhausting, extremely difficult, and must all be done in one attempt.  Few mages ever build up the mental fortitude required to even seal an artifact, let alone the stamina to sustain it.

Though an artifact is easy to ruin in creation, once completed, it is nigh-indestructible.  The spell of regeneration ensures that any damage done to the artifact is repaired, and the special creation of the barrier allows the artifact to draw energy from the living earth, constantly recharging itself.  Only a mage with a strong will and great determination can break the power of an artifact, and only a group of magi can do so safely.

Anyways, I may as well talk about the main characters now.  The first one is rather plain at the moment, since he's a main character created by me.  His friend is a little bit different, but more or less in the same boat.  So, for the time being, we'll leave them be and focus on the individual they meet.

This particular individual makes his living as a fortune teller.  Being a period of free will, business for any fortune teller, soothsayer, or seer tends to be poor, and customers skeptical and scarce.  However, this man has a distinct advantage over his peers: he actually can see the future, at least to a limited degree.  Able to see a rough approximation of the near-future, this man tends to wander from city to city, using his skills for quick profit and then fleeing before things get too dicey; quick profit often including pickpocketing, conning, and back alley gambling.

I think the main character will have to be a bit of a do-gooder and a blind follower for at least the first part of the story.  I kind of like the idea of him going into this big quest with no motivation, and then realizing it when shit hits the fan.  I think a few good plot twists for the main character are in order; things that someone hardened by life would notice, but would be missed by someone who thinks everyone who seems nice really is.  In a best-case scenario, it wouldn't be until the climax that the main character discovers who's good, who's evil, and who's simply in it for themselves.

I don't know why, but I've always been interested in the struggle between the evilly heroic and the heroically evil; that is, those who would do horrible things to achieve good results, and those who would do great things to achieve evil results.  It should be brought up about mid-story that this sort of conflict could be occurring between the Collective and the gods; both sides are selfish and wrong, only the side that wins benefits, and the people suffer no matter what.  It's an idea that sprang from Lockhart City, and it won't be the focus of the story like it was there, but I think it could make an appearance, at least as a possible scenario.

I think what I need to do is study up on European history (suddenly, the crap I ignored/skipped in high school seems mockingly relevant) to really get a grip on where the story should be set.  There will be differences, what with the introduction of magic changing inventions, but I think there will be a good deal of similarity to actual history in the end result.  At least, I hope so; if the thing comes out looking like a fantasy wonderland, I may just break my hands, cut out my tongue, and bash my head against a wall until my brain is no longer capable of ideas.

Hopefully everything above makes sense; like all my works, I failed to muster the necessary give-a-shit to proofread or edit it.  Another of my flaws, but that's to be remedied another day.

The Revelation: In which several things are discovered mid-sentence, and the feeling of hopelessness swiftly abates

Crap, I've gone far too long without a post.  That will not do.  As the first post of the month, I wish I had something strong to start with.  But, in reality, I've almost exhausted the background information at this time.  There's a great big nefarious group known as the Collective I haven't mentioned much, but, to be honest, they're commies on steroids, and they don't need much more explanation then that.  They're living in the south in the story, they push north every so often, and they're more or less scary as shit.

What I'm struggling with right now is focus.  Put bluntly, the story is slipping away.  It always happens; I get involved in something, work hard on ideas for about a month, and then I just lose it, like a balloon at the fair.  One moment I have my hand wrapped tightly around it, and then, before I know what happened, it's floating away.  The longest I've made it was 1/3 of a story, in semi-rough draft.  It's currently living in a 80-page college rule spiral notebook, with a little spillover into a second, mostly-empty notebook.

I'm having difficulty keeping the goal in sight, so I'm going to do the one thing that seems the most alien and uncomfortable to me: I'm just gonna spill the whole thing right out here.

More or less, it's an adventure story.  The world is fucked up, and it needs to be fixed.  Does this mean finding the gods and restoring them?  Or taking down the Collective and freeing mankind?  Or both?  Or neither?  I don't know yet.  Better yet, when does this story take place?  I switch between medieval and modern, and I really can't choose which would fit better.  I have one, count 'em, one character created for this whole shebang: A semi-major character, a seer and possibly a reborn Child of Fate.

I haven't decided the setting yet because, in all reality, it could be both.  The story is pretty universal, and would tuck in nicely to either timeframe.  As for the timeline, all it would take is a few hundred years or so of padding to fix up the difference, and in a story about times of stagnation, I think a few hundred years can only help.  So, that's my biggest obstacle at the moment.  Also, the inclusion of an idea I worked on pretty hard at 3:00 in the morning about six months ago and now can't find, involving artifacts of the gods and the different powers they hold.  I'm not certain whether I want to take the whole idea over, or the idea over in any way at all, but it crept into my mind yesterday, and now it's stuck there.

Basically, it's the idea that the gods were able to create physical manifestations of their power on the planet; similar to how a mage would channel their energy, but without dispelling it in the form of magic.  If these exist, then there are sources of magic left in the world, though finite, and some of the more "civilized" magic arts could be practiced by those with the luck and ability to find such artifacts.

Now, if this is the case, then it is obvious that the Collective wants them all.  I don't know if I mentioned this before, but the blood mages work almost exclusively with the Collective by this point, and as all blood mages are the remnants of all old schools of magic, they would of course be interested in these relics of power.  And, since the Collective is patently evil, there must be a nefarious plot behind why these artifacts would be desired.  Perhaps they could be used to rule the entire world?  Or maybe they can use their power to keep their Leader alive for all eternity, and rule not just the entire world, but the entire world for all eternity.  Or, here's a real kicker, maybe the Collective is using the artifacts to keep the gods away.

Holy balls, I wish I'd had that idea earlier.  It almost fits like a glove.  On the one hand, the gods used the power of men to keep themselves alive and prevalent; now, men are using the power of the gods to keep the gods away.  I swear I didn't have this idea until that previous paragraph.  This blog is already showing itself to be a good idea.

Anyways, if the Collective is indeed collecting these artifacts (on a side note, if this plot element does indeed survive, I must come up with a better name for the Collective; it was meant to refer to the collection of different nations and people who make up this great and mighty supernation, but now that there's actual collecting going on, it really seems pretty lame), then of course the main characters will be trying to stop them.  Seems a little Scooby Doo-ish, but shit, I'm not Dickens.

So here we are, now with artifacts and the possibility of a counter-movement against the gods, and suddenly the idea seems less stale.  Thank you blog, and thank you any people who managed to read through this junkpile of narrative structure.